Today was Alden's first day of 4 year old kindergarten and he was super excited. He has asked daily for months if it was the day for him to go to school with Zachary. And it's a day that I have dreaded from the day he was born. I know that I am extremely lucky in that I get to spend every day with my kids and yes, there are days that they drive me insane but this is a day of bittersweet tears for me. Up until this point, I have been the main person in Alden's life- I get him up in the morning and I take him outside and I do his bidding along with whatever has to be done during the day and from this day forward, he's going to have someone else who is going to influence his outlook on things. Yes, I know that we don't live in a vacuum so he has other people in his life but I fancy myself as his main woman. lol And now, it's the point of no return- every school day from here on out, he is going to head into a school and away from me. Plus, I felt guilty for breaking up the Alden/Eleanor partnership. Alden has really only remembered a life with Eleanor as his constant playmate and I worried how each of them would react. Alden was fine at drop-off but Eleanor cried and didn't want to leave Aldi. But I know that underneath all of my irrational emotions, he is entering a bright new phase of life where a new world is opening up for him. He'll learn this letters and numbers- he'll learn about reading and math- about relationships with other kids. And he'll learn about a whole world outside of his home and while that is a good thing, I can't help but wish it didn't have to happen just yet.
